1. I overslept.

This is hands down the number one excuse for missing church on Sunday morning, and I’d be lying if I said that I have never fallen victim to oversleeping. I mean—it happens to the best of us! You stay up too late binging Netflix causing you to completely sleep through your alarm the next morning. When it becomes a problem, though, is when this excuse is happening week after week after week.

The good news is this is one of the easiest excuses to nip in the bud. How? Set your current alarm louder or get a new alarm if need be. Have a friend give you a wakeup call, have your roommate bang on your door, or make plans to get breakfast with a friend before church. Try to go to bed earlier on Saturdays. There are so many options that this excuse doesn’t hold up anymore.

2. The Broncos game is on early.

As a transplant to Colorado, I’ve never really understood this one.

“But Lindsey—you’re a Browns fan. You probably find sweet relief when you miss a game.”

You got me there; however, I did still faithfully serve at youth group when the Cleveland Indians were in game seven of the World Series. (Maybe I was secretly hoping God would let the Tribe win if I still went to church.)

But when it comes down to it, it’s just a game. It’s also a game that very few of us even know someone who’s actually playing in it. Yes, you might be the world’s biggest [enter team’s name here] fan, but you should be an even bigger follower of God.

3. I lost track of time.

Okay you caught me. I did almost miss church because I lost track of time dancing around my bathroom. I mean—you can’t fault a girl for when jam after jam is popping up in her “I Heart the 90s” playlist.

But whether or not you’re a bathroom lip syncer like me, there are so many things that can make you lose track of the time. Reading, Netflix, working out, laundry… the possibilities are endless!

Now on Sundays, I set an alarm for a few minutes before I need to leave the house. This pulls me out of any distraction and gives me a couple minutes to regroup before I head out the door.

4. It’s my only day to sleep in.

Oh man—this excuse was in my back pocket, always ready for use during my first three years of college. I scheduled as many early morning classes during the week as I could to keep my schedule open for work in the afternoon. I worked Saturday morning opening shifts at one job and then closed at my other job. By the time Sunday rolled around, I was exhausted.

But when I was a senior, I had it all figured out. No, my schedule didn’t change—my priorities did. I started waking up to get to church every Sunday. Not only did I benefit from keeping my wake up time consistent throughout the week, but getting out of bed and going to church left me way more energized and refreshed! If you truly are too exhausted on Sunday morning, considering penciling yourself in for a Sunday afternoon nap!

5. I connect with God better on the golf course, nature trails, at the beach, etc.

Imagine for a moment that you’re a parent and you give your kid a season pass to an amusement park. You’re obviously pleased each time he goes because you love to see him enjoying your gift. But if you keep inviting him over to your house for dinner and he stands you and the family up time and time again to ride roller coasters, you’re going to start missing him.

I think it’s pretty similar with church! I do wholeheartedly believe that God can connect with us anywhere, golf courses included! And like a parent, I don’t think God gets upset with you if miss a week of church to go connect to him elsewhere. He loves to see you enjoying his gifts for you. But it’s still important to show up at his house to spend time with him and the family!

6. My kid’s traveling sports team only plays on Sundays.

This is a tricky one because you want to give your kids the best opportunities in life. But when it comes down to it, letting your family miss church repeatedly to play sports may be setting the example that God takes second place.

Yes, it is hard to miss out on sports teams, especially in a society that doesn’t share your commitment to God. But God called us to be in the world, not of the world.

So we’re left with two options. Either don’t sign up for a program that only plays on Sundays or find at church that offers Saturday night services. But, if you choose the latter, you need to make a commitment to actually go on Saturday evenings.

7. I’ll just listen to a sermon via podcast.

Podcasts are on the shortlist of things I love. I seriously listen to at least three a day, and a lot of those are sermons.

But it’s time to set the record straight: No matter how thankful I am to have world-renowned teaching at my fingertips, podcasts aren’t a replacement for church. There’s so much power in being in community, having that support system of believers, and always being surrounded by a group of people who love you and can hold you accountable.

So please, keep listening to your sermon podcasts for extra teaching throughout the week or even to catch up if you miss the occasional Sunday. But let’s all make it a priority to find community within a church.

8. It’s too far of a drive.

Growing up, I always lived in towns that were saturated with churches. I have always lived less than three miles from my church so I’ve never really understood the inconvenience of traveling a distance far away to worship the Lord.

But when I was overseas, I lived in communities of people that traveled hours down pothole-riddled dirt roads on overcrowded and overheated buses to get to church; once there, they knelt on dirt floors for hours because that was the only church they had.

Now, I understand not wanting to drive hours to get to church and back, but friend—you’re the one who chose to attend this church, and you probably have a lot more options closer. If you find yourself constantly missing church because the drive is too long, it’s time to make a change.

9. I don’t feel like going.

There have been so many times that I’ve woke up Sunday morning and didn’t feel like going to church. Sometimes I stayed home, but when I went, one of two things would happen: Either I heard a sermon that was so impactful that I feel like God was speaking directly to me, or I was a sluggish lame-o the entire time at church.

While one of these situations is far more glamorous than the other, both are important. In the first situation, the enemy was trying to stop God from speaking truth into my life and I didn’t let him! In the second situation, I learned to worship God even when I was tired, groggy, or just not feeling it and that, my friends, is critical.

There will be many times in life that we’re dragging our feet to church, or to read our Bible, or to pray. But every time we push through those feelings, we’re getting another opportunity to connect with God!

10. I’m doing fine. I don’t need church.

“Hey—church is like a hospital and if I’m doing fine I don’t need to go, right?” Wrong! (Plus, if that’s your thought process, you’re not nearly as healthy as you think!)

Spiritual health is very similar to physical health. Do you just neglect all physical health until you are so unhealthy that you end up in the emergency room? No! We make decisions every day for our health, such as the foods we eat and drink, and we get regular checkups. Our spiritual life is the same way! We pray and read our Bibles, and go to church for weekly “checkups.” We don’t want to wait until our spiritual life is in such shambles that we treat church like an emergency room.

Photo Credit: ©GettyImages/Everste

In our consumer society, where prevailing wisdom says we should be loyal to products or brands only insofar as our needs and tastes are satisfied, it can be easy for churchgoers to have a very low threshold for leaving a church. The slightest mismatch of preferences or the smallest amount of discomfort can lead a churchgoer to become a church shopper, scouring the “market” for the elusive perfect church. But there are no perfect churches. Every church will at times cause us to feel uncomfortable. But that isn’t necessarily a bad thing.

We often leave churches too quickly, for the wrong reasons. When the discomfort level rises and the going gets a bit too tough, we give up. Sure, there are valid and important reasons why we should leave a church (heretical teaching, corrupt leaders, etc.), but there are also bad reasons. What are some common, but ultimately bad, reasons why we might be tempted to leave our current church? Here are seven:

1.  Other Churchgoers Annoy You.

One of the most counter cultural and challenging aspects of the Christian church is that it draws people together from very diverse backgrounds. This is what the gospel does! This means it’s very likely you’ll be worshipping alongside people who you’d normally never choose to interact with. And this can be awkward and annoying. But don’t let this lead you to leave and search for a church full of people just like you. To do so is to undermine the very power of the gospel to equalize and unify across natural dividing lines (see Galatians 3).

2.  Your “Cause” is Not Sufficiently Championed.

Many people leave churches when they pitch an idea or embark on a crusade to launch a program, but it goes nowhere. Perhaps the church leadership says no outright, or maybe there is just little interest in the congregation to get behind your cause. That’s OK. Don’t leave and search for another church that might run with your idea. Instead, why not stay and see what existing program already has momentum in the church, and get behind that?

3.  The Worship Isn’t Your Preferred Style.

Whether it’s the too-loud or too-soft music, the too-topical or too-ex-positional preaching, or an array of other mismatches to one’s laundry list of tastes and preferences, frustration with worship is a big reason people leave churches. But it doesn’t need to be. The truth is, worshipping outside of one’s comfort zone and style preference can be healthy, cultivating humility and making worship more about God than our own consumer desires.

4.  A Trendy Church Opened Nearby.

I see this time and time again in Southern California. People go to a church and are “all in” there for a brief time, maybe a year or two. But then the excitement wears off. They get bored. A new, well-branded church with a cool podcast and famous worship leader launches nearby, and the bored person quietly leaves to try the new flavor in town. Why is this a bad idea? Because the cycle will continue ad infinitum. Today’s trendy church will always become tomorrow’s boring church.

5.  Your Favourite Pastor Left.

This is a common motivator for church exits. The cult of personality is strong in the American church. Celebrity pastors with “platforms” and book deals naturally draw huge crowds to their churches. And when they leave, the crowds often follow. But pinning your church experience on one pastor’s presence, however dynamic they may be, is unhealthy. A church is more than its pastor(s).

6.  Your Heart Just Isn’t in it Anymore.

I often hear from people who have drifted from a church that their heart “just isn’t in it anymore.” They’re just “going through the motions.” It feels obligatory, legalistic and inauthentic to go to church. So they stop going. But as “authentic” as these emotions are, this is a bad reason to leave a church. Why? Because every relationship and commitment in life has seasons where one’s heart isn’t “in it” like it was in the beginning. But that’s normal. And it’s no reason to give up.

7.  You Don’t Get Much out of Sunday Services.

It has become normal to talk about a church service in terms of “what I got out of it.” For example, we ask each other after church, “What did you get out of the sermon?” But this posture is simply consumerism applied to church. It positions church in terms of what we can get from it, and thus when it stops providing clear “takeaways” or added value to our life, we justify leaving. But church should not be about what we get out of it, but what we give. How we serve. How we build up the body.

Jeremiah began his prayer, not with rage or impertinence, but with a reverent salutation: “You are always righteous, O Lord….” Only after such a greeting could he then lay out his feelings before God.

Jeremiah did not accuse God of injustice. He did not bring a case against God but rather before him. Jeremiah pleads his case with God. Jeremiah was troubled about the matter of justice, or in this case, what seemed like injustice “why does the way of the wicked prosper”? The godly seeming to be in small numbers, were not faring well. The ungodly, in vast numbers, seemed to prosper. Jeremiah could not understand it. He wondered if God was diligent about matters of the earth.

This situation seemed to be a reversal of the rules. The righteous were supposed to prosper and the wicked were supposed to vanish. It did not work out that way for Jeremiah, and it often does not today.  Why do the righteous suffer? Why do those who do not play straight prosper? Only God knows.

Jeremiah’s preaching was not well received by his countrymen and even his own family did not want his message. They even plotted against his life. All of this came after he tried to serve God faithfully, but seemed to get nowhere. Thus his complaint in Jeremiah 12:1 came pouring out.

People of genuine faith may address their doubts and questions to God in prayer. This is what Jeremiah did, and that is what we today must do. It is not blasphemy to raise genuine questions and doubts to God. It is instead a sign of deep trust

A Plot against Jeremiah

Jeremiah 11:18-21

¹⁸ Then the Lord told me about the plots my enemies were making against me. ¹⁹ I was like a lamb being led to the slaughter. I had no idea that they were planning to kill me! “Let’s destroy this man and all his words,” they said. “Let’s cut him down, so his name will be forgotten forever.”

²⁰ O Lord of Heaven’s Armies,
you make righteous judgments,
and you examine the deepest thoughts and secrets.
Let me see your vengeance against them,
for I have committed my cause to you.

²¹ This is what the Lord says about the men of Anathoth who wanted me dead. They had said, “We will kill you if you do not stop prophesying in the Lord’s name.” ²² So this is what the Lord of Heaven’s Armies says about them: “I will punish them! Their young men will die in battle, and their boys and girls will starve to death. ²³ Not one of these plotters from Anathoth will survive, for I will bring disaster upon them when their time of punishment comes.”

Jeremiah Questions the Lord’s Justice

Jeremiah 12: 1 – 4

¹ Lord, you always give me justice
when I bring a case before you.
So let me bring you this complaint:
Why are the wicked so prosperous?
Why are evil people so happy?
² You have planted them,
and they have taken root and prospered.
Your name is on their lips,
but you are far from their hearts.
³ But as for me, Lord, you know my heart.
You see me and test my thoughts.
Drag these people away like sheep to be butchered!
Set them aside to be slaughtered!

⁴ How long must this land mourn?
Even the grass in the fields has withered.
The wild animals and birds have disappeared
because of the evil in the land.
For the people have said,
“The Lord doesn’t see what’s ahead for us!”

The Lord’s Reply to Jeremiah

⁵ “If racing against mere men makes you tired,
how will you race against horses?
If you stumble and fall on open ground,
what will you do in the thickets near the Jordan?
⁶ Even your brothers, members of your own family,
have turned against you.
They plot and raise complaints against you.
Do not trust them,
no matter how pleasantly they speak.

When Jeremiah spoke openly to God, the Lord returned the favour. He spoke freely to the prophet. The answer God provided in Jeremiah 12:5 is something which Jeremiah was not searching. Perhaps he expected the Lord to say something like this “Yes Jeremiah, you are right. I’ve been negligent, but promise to do better. From now on, you can rest assured that I will be watching out for you a little better”.

God’s answer to Jeremiah is more a challenge than an easy answer. He challenged the prophet to grow, to get stronger, to prepare himself for the future battles that would be much tougher than the ones already fought.

One who reads the bible seriously learns quickly that God seldom gives simple, trite answers to our questions. Instead, God challenges us to grow and develop spiritually.  He wanted Jeremiah to get stronger in his smaller trails so that when the larger ones came, he would be ready. Genuine prayer is no trivial pursuit.

Speak openly to God about your problems, but remember you may get an unexpected answer.

In Jeremiah 20:7 we see Jeremiah accusing God of deceit:

“O Lord, you deceived me and I was deceived, you overpowered me and prevailed. I am ridiculed all day long; everyone mocks me”.

This accusation, which runs from verse 7 through verse 18. Jeremiah felt deceived, he at least felt there was a divine purpose in all of this-that is, that God was doing this for a purpose.

Jeremiah felt a deep personal hurt. Not only did he feel abandoned by friends and family, but he also felt tricked by God. When a person fells this low, there is nowhere else to go but up. But the climb back up was not accomplished in an instant, or even in a day. For Jeremiah to come to terms with his circumstances took a lifetime. He poured out his anger and sense of outrage to God all the while.

No Concern of Ours

Why do the wicked prosper? Some succeed due to Satan’s influence. God may allow others to grow wealthy to try our character. Many have natural talents, a kind of Midas’ touch, whereby everything they do brings them gain. A few, like the lottery winners, roll in wealth because of time and chance. There are many reasons why uncalled and unrepentant people seem so successful.

It doesn’t matter, 0ur neighbours’ fortunes are completely out of our hands. God will deal with the wicked when it is appropriate, and only He knows when that time will come. What is under our control is how we respond and handle what God has given us. Rather than gaze enviously at our neighbours’ wealth, we should strive to reach the apostle Paul’s example: “I have learned in whatever state I am, to be content” (Philippians 4:11).

Apostle Paul writes in I Timothy 6:8-10:

⁸ And having food and clothing, with these we shall be content. ⁹ But those who desire to be rich fall into temptation and a snare, and into many foolish and harmful lusts which drown men in destruction and perdition. ¹⁰ For the love of money is a root of all kinds of evil, for which some have strayed from the faith in their greediness,and pierced themselves through with many sorrows.

The pursuit of wealth is a path that is likely to end in trouble and unhappiness. If worship and follow God’s way, the blessings will come automatically, as God thinks we deserve it. Whether we prosper financially or not, we know that God has our best interests at heart (Romans 8:28). We can rely on Jesus’ promise in Matthew 6:33 that God will give us all we need if we keep our focus on the Kingdom of God and His righteousness.

Three simple instructions: Do good, trust God and don’t worry!

This disconnect between emotional health and Christian theology has been at odds for some time. The common Christian response to uncomfortable emotions is phrases like “You just need to pray more” and “trust the Lord in all circumstances,” which adds to the distortion that our distress impairs our spiritual maturity. I whole-heartedly believe that the spiritual disciplines found in Scripture were never meant to invalidate our pain and problems, but rather invite us into expressing our feelings openly and freely to a loving and caring God.

Here is the truth: You matter to God, feelings and all.

Never in Scripture do we see Jesus dismiss the feelings of others or invalidate those in distress. On the contrary, God’s Word reiterates the safety found in seeking God as our refuge when we are weak (Psalm 46:1–3), and as a shelter when we are suffering (Psalm 62:8).

When we are faced with feelings that shake our faith, we must go back to Scripture and be reminded that our emotions, created by God, are meant to bring us closer to Him, not pull us farther away. In my exploration of this concept, I have found four ways God responds to my feelings which have strengthened my faith and comforted my soul.

1. God Is Present in My Feelings 

In Psalm 34:18-19, David speaks of how God is attentive in our distress saying:

“The Lord is near to the brokenhearted

and saves the crushed in spirit.

Many are the afflictions of the righteous,

but the Lord delivers him out of them all.”

God does not leave us in our distress or dismiss the weight of our worries, but graciously comes near us as a father comforts his dear child. His awareness is active. The passage states that God saves the crushed in spirit, delivering them out of pain. What is even more powerful about this passage is that in the original Hebrew, the term for saves is translated as “to be safe.” God is not simply standing by us, but He actively provides safety for us in His presence.

2. God Values My Feelings 

In addition to God’s attentiveness, He also values emotions. Throughout Jesus’ ministry, we see His expression of emotion and how He values caring for those who were suffering. Jesus wept with those who experienced loss (John 11:34-36) and comforted many with compassion and consideration (Mark 6:50).

The intersection of emotional expression and validation was first modeled for us by God throughout the Old Testament, and then again by Jesus throughout the gospels. We see how God so gently guided the Israelites, despite their rebellion and complaining throughout the book of Exodus. Similarly, Jesus speaks to many emotions in his Sermon on the Mount saying,

“Blessed are the poor in spirit,

for theirs is the kingdom of heaven.

Blessed are those who mourn,

for they will be comforted” (Matthew 5:3-4).

The apostle Paul speaks on this same value of emotional expression, encouraging believers to, “Rejoice with those who rejoice, weep with those who weep. Live in harmony with one another” (Romans 12:15).

I wonder what it would look like to begin to value the emotions we experience and own the freedom to express them, knowing that God is near and desires to comfort us with His compassion.

3. God Challenges My Feelings  

Within God’s attentiveness and compassion for His children, He challenges the feelings that no longer have a place in our lives and hearts. Paul writes on this disputation of futile feelings, encouraging Timothy to not be overcome by fear.

He says, “For this reason, I remind you to fan into flame the gift of God, which is in you through the laying on of my hands, for God gave us a spirit, not of fear but power and love and self-control” (2 Timothy 1:6-7).

This response to my feelings is one that helps me identify the foundation of my emotions. As I seek to understand God’s Word and His truth, I am reminded to align my feelings with the promises found in Scripture. This passage reminds me of the truth of the Spirit of God at work in me. 

4. God Reframes My Feelings  

Finally, I believe that God’s Word so beautifully helps us to reframe our emotions by placing our focus and intention back on God’s power, strength, and ability to meet us in our emotions.

One of my favorite passages that help reframe my feelings and focus on my faith is found in Philippians 4:8-9 where Paul writes, “Finally, brothers, whatever is true, whatever is honorable, whatever is just, whatever is pure, whatever is lovely, whatever is commendable, if there is any excellence, if there is anything worthy of praise, think about these things. What you have learned and received and heard and seen in me—practice these things, and the God of peace will be with you.”

Paul’s words remind me to slow down and replace my thoughts that have led to distress and distortions within my heart. When feelings flood our minds and muddy the truth of God’s goodness and grace, we are invited to renew our minds in the truths found in His Word.

So, whatever you may be feeling, just remember that God is near and desires to be involved in the fears and failures, the loss and laughter. His Word reminds us to feel and to be free from the false kind of faith that negates the weight of raw emotions. Let us continue to seek after God, training our hearts to find rest in the truth, and knowing that God does care about our feelings.

Photo credit: Unsplash/whoislimos

Carley Marcouillier: With a Bachelor of Science in Religion and a Masters of Arts in Clinical Mental Health Counseling, Carley works to provide mental health services to the under served within the heart of Virginia. In addition to her clinical pursuits, Carley is passionate about discussing the topics of faith, theology, psychology, and everything in between on her blog carleymarcouillier.com and social media platform. When she is not working with clients or writing, Carley enjoys good cups of coffee, training for triathlons, and traveling to new places.

• Colossians 3:17
  And whatever you do, in word or deed, do everything in the name of the Lord Jesus, giving thanks to God the Father through him.

• Psalm 31:19
  Oh, how abundant is your goodness, which you have stored up for those who fear you and worked for those who take refuge in you, in the sight of the children of mankind!

• Psalm 103:2
  Bless the Lord, O my soul, and forget not all his benefits,

• 2 Corinthians 4:15
  For it is all for your sake, so that as grace extends to more and more people it may increase thanksgiving, to the glory of God.

Hear this: phones and all the things that come from them are very good. There are many benefits to social media, such as keeping in touch with family and friends or following your favorite author or speaker. However, if social media replaces actual socializing, then we are missing something. Social media was created to help us better connect with others, but if we forget how to connect with others in person, then we have missed the entire point.

A few years ago, I realized I struggled with this and so did a lot of the people I gather with for Thanksgiving. So, I grabbed one of my Mamaw’s baskets and made a sign: “Phone Jail: Drop your phone here. You can grab it to take a quick pic, but you’ve got to place it back here afterward. Let’s connect with actual face time today!”

Some people struggled with this more than others, but every single person in our family looks forward to the freedom from the phone for the day and getting to connect with those we love in real life.

Thank you for family and friends, for placing people in my path again and again— those whose encouragement and kindness I will never forget. Thank you for the things I take for granted like clean water, a place to sleep, air conditioning, and food to nourish me. I’m grateful for your protection and your gentle prodding away from danger.

Thank you for answered prayers, for fun surprises, and for happy memories with loved ones and friends. Thank you for faithful servants who help make the world a safer place—like policemen, firemen, lifeguards, pastors, and teachers. Thank you for those who work long hours in low-paying jobs and contribute to my life and welfare through their service. Thank you for always providing for my needs, in big and small ways.